Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
