Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
