And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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