I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
