i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
