Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
