dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
