I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Randomize
