And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Randomize
