I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
