Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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