how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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