i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
