i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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