oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
