I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
