You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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