Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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