oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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