Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
