is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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