I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Sorry about my life...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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