and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
