You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
