I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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