my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
