Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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