We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
