I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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