We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
