You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
