he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
