So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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