Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
