brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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