terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
