i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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