"it" just moved
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Randomize
