im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
