all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
