I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
