Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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