I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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