Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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