When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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