How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
