Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
