My room smells like vodka and shame
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
How does one acquire holy water?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
