Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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