don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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