god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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