so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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